Z - list, creepy crawlies, perma tans - I'm A Celebrity is back
It pains us to say it but I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here (IMACGMOOH) is back and this year's motley crew of used-to-bes, nobodies and wannabes is just as ragtag as ever and it is snookers perennial nearly man Jimmy "Whirlwind" White who heads the betting at 9/2.
Some new rules and challenges are rumoured this year to "liven things up" including the group being split in to two and half parachuting in and half coming in on horses - WOW. There also is rumoured to be a "love island" where two contestants have to swim to get there in order to win food for the others and will then be stranded under the stars for the night in a hope romance will blossom, (I suppose we should hope it's Jordan, sorry Katie Price and Sabrina Washington - now that would be entertainment.
I'm getting distracted, where was I...oh yes, unbelievably Katie Price has had the audacity to go back in to the jungle having won a few years ago when people liked her and while the best known of these, 12/1 makes no appeal as she is sure to be ridiculed, made to do nearly every Bushtucker Trial and in her vein attempt to improve her public image she will no doubt end up making Kerry Katona look classy.
Katona thankfully is not in again but serial reality TV goer Sam Fox is and is the outsider at 20/1, while Katie certainly has a rival in the "who look's the most like the Tango Man stakes" in the shape of George Hamilton, who for those that don't know is an ageing film star popular in the 60's and 70's so one can only assume he is seeking a career revival and was misinformed by his agent that this would be a good thing to go on - he has already been well backed though and is currently 7/1.
The old IMACGMOOH rumour mill is already churning and there is talk of trying to get Hamilton together for some crinkly love with Kim Woodburn who is famous for being a cleaner but at 10/1 could be a possible runner as the housewives will know who she is and could be a "motherly" figure to the others.
Now who else have we got, ah yes Justin Ryan and Colin McAllister, the first celebrity couple to go in to the jungle and if you don't know who they are (which you won't) they are interior designers who have presented some forgettable programmes on channel 5 and both are 16/1 and have no chance.
Sabrina Washington was in Misteeq - you know, Misteeq? You've heard of Alesha Dixon right? Yeah well not her, one of the other two who again won't win as her promotional video makes her look atrocious already and it is hard to see where her votes to win would come from so steer clear of the 14/1.
So top of the market as we said is White who certainly has the profile to give this a good go but with a chequered past he could be put in to a bad light and he may well tire of all the other non-sporting, non-troublemaking co-inhabitants - a special William Hill are offering at the moment has Jimmy White to live up to his runner-up status and finish second at 5/2.
Two of the more likely winners are Lucy Benjamin (the one who shot Phil Mitchell in Eastenders) and Stuart Manning (the one who ran away with his baby in Hollyoaks) and both are recognisable soap stars to the demographic who watch IMACGMOOH and full expect both Benjamin and Manning to be there at the end at 6/1 and 8/1 respectively with Manning getting the early nod as "the eye candy" and being a bigger price than Lucy.
The final two are possibles, Gino D'Acampo at 7/1 and Camilla Dallerup at 10/1. After a quick search to find out who the hell these two are, I've found D'Acampo is a chef who cooks on This Morning so will be familiar to the housewives that watch This Morning and in turn watch this, although foreigners rarely win shows like this so may not go all the way, while Dallerup also has this as a potential pitfall.
She is from Denmark but familiar to IMACGMOOH viewers as a dancer on Strictly Come Dancing which she actually won last year with Tom Chambers and she was unfortunate enough to have been engaged to one of the greasiest men on the dance floor, Brendan Cole, but she is attractive without being threateningly so, will be known to the viewers of this and judging from her previous Strictly ventures, she does have a personality so does look a runner at 10/1.
If you can't bring yourself to watch this all the time, we will do our best here to keep you updated with all the goings on (and you think your job is bad) and hopefully we can grab that cloud with the silver lining and make some Christmas money and turn what feels like a punishment in to something wonderful.
Stuart Manning - 8/1
Camilla Dallerup - 10/1